A Moment for Reflection
Today’s youth are intelligent, talented, and well-informed. Yet, a worrying change is rapidly emerging in our society: the decline of patience and tolerance.
Getting angry over minor disagreements, immediately responding to criticism, engaging in harsh arguments on social media, considering one’s own opinion to be the final word, and rejecting others’ views before even listening to them—these behaviors are increasingly becoming part of our temperament.
The question is:
Does Islam teach us to develop such an attitude?
The Qur’an and Controlling Anger
While describing the qualities of believers, the Holy Qur’an says:
﴾وَالْكَاظِمِينَ الْغَيْظَ وَالْعَافِينَ عَنِ النَّاسِ وَاللّٰهُ يُحِبُّ الْمُحْسِنِينَ﴿
Translation:
“And those who restrain their anger and pardon people; and Allah loves those who do good.”
(Surah Aal-e-Imran, Part 4, Verse 134)
Reflect upon this! The Qur’an does not merely instruct believers not to become angry. It praises those who restrain their anger and forgive others as people of righteousness.
Hazrat Mufti Ahmad Yar Khan Naeemi رحمه الله explains that those who restrain their anger are people who do not lose control of themselves even when they are extremely angry. Although they may have the ability to retaliate, they control their anger and refrain from acting upon it.
(Tafsir Naeemi, Vol. 4, under the verse, p. 205)
What Is True Strength?
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ clearly explained this reality:
“The strong person is not the one who can overpower another in wrestling; rather, the strong person is the one who controls himself when he becomes angry.”
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Adab, Chapter: Caution Against Anger, Hadith 6114)
This Hadith provides a complete principle of character-building for today’s youth.
Today, strength is often displayed through a loud voice, harsh words, aggressive social-media posts, or humiliating others. However, the Prophet ﷺ taught us that true strength lies in controlling one’s own self.
“Do Not Become Angry” — A Great Principle
A man came to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and said:
“Advise me.”
The Prophet ﷺ said:
لَا تَغْضَبْ
“Do not become angry.”
The man repeatedly asked for advice, and each time the Prophet ﷺ gave the same response:
لَا تَغْضَبْ
(Sahih al-Bukhari, Book of Adab, Hadith 6116)
This short statement contains a profound principle for life.
You do not need to respond to everything.
You do not need to turn every disagreement into a battle.
You do not need to retaliate against every criticism.
And you do not need to convince every person to accept your opinion.
Why Is Patience Declining Among Young People?
One major reason is that we have made immediate reactions a part of our personality.
A mobile phone is in our hand, we see something we dislike, and we immediately respond.
Someone disagrees with us—we become angry.
Someone criticizes us—we respond rudely.
Someone expresses a different opinion on social media—we immediately begin attacking and insulting them.
Whereas a wise person thinks before responding:
“What will be the consequence of my words?”
A moment of anger can sometimes destroy relationships that took years to build.
One sentence can turn a friend into an enemy.
One social-media post can create conflict within a family.
And one unnecessary argument can take away a person’s dignity, time, and peace of mind all at once.
Not Every Disagreement Is Enmity
Young people need to understand that every disagreement is not hostility.
Someone having a different opinion from ours does not necessarily mean that person is our enemy.
When differences of opinion are expressed with respect and evidence, they do not necessarily harm society. Instead, they can become a means of intellectual growth and development.
Listening to others, considering their arguments, and accepting our own mistakes when necessary are signs of maturity and strength of character.
Patience Is Not Weakness
Some young people believe that remaining silent is a sign of weakness, forgiving someone is weakness, and tolerating another person’s words is weakness.
But according to Islamic teachings, true courage is not about overpowering others; it is about overpowering one’s own desires and ego.
A young person who can control his tongue when angry is not weak; he has conquered his own ego.
A young person who can listen to criticism and reflect upon it is not weak; he possesses mental strength.
A young person who maintains respect despite disagreement is not weak; he is protecting his character.
What Should We Do?
If young people want to develop patience and tolerance, they should incorporate these principles into their lives:
1. Do not respond immediately when you are angry.
2. Before posting or commenting on social media, read your words again—or ask someone senior and trustworthy to review them.
3. Listen completely to the person with whom you disagree.
4. Do not consider every criticism an insult.
5. Develop the habit of admitting your mistakes.
6. Consider forgiveness not a weakness, but a form of moral strength.
7. Remain silent when angry and make a conscious effort to control yourself.
Today’s Youth, Today’s Responsibility
Remember: young people are not merely the future of a nation; they are also its character today.
If today’s youth adopt patience, forbearance, forgiveness, and good character, tomorrow’s society will become stronger.
But if every disagreement becomes anger, every criticism becomes hostility, and every discussion becomes a matter of ego, then we may have knowledge without wisdom, words without manners, and opinions without tolerance.
Islam does not teach us acts of worship alone; it also teaches us how to become better human beings.
Supplication
We pray before Allah Almighty that He grants us the ability to understand these teachings and act upon them.
May Allah grant our youth patience, forbearance, self-control, forgiveness, wisdom, and good character. May He enable us to follow the teachings of the Qur’an and Sunnah in our daily lives and to treat others with respect even when we disagree.
Ameen, bi-jahi an-Nabiyy al-Ameen ﷺ.
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